Sleep evades me....

I find it hard to sleep. Some nights are fine...I'll fall into bed and feel the warmth of unconsciousness envelope me. But other nights, like last night, I lay awake and motionless for hours. No position brings me comfort. My eyes are tight, and my body relaxed, but still the sound of my breathing persists, and provides the monotonous background to thoughts and mental processes that will occupy my mind in the darkness. I can feel my body fighting the incoming tide of sleep, jolting me back to consciousness just as I am about to give in to paralysis. The incessant time checking continues....2am.....2.22am....as I work out how many hours of sleep remain should I manage to let myself fall....
This morning finds me tired and tearful. Something about the thoughts and near dreams of the night have left me feeling uneasy and disturbed, like I was meant to do something and havn't, or meant to think about something, and forgotten. I spend the morning going through the motions of work, engaging in idle conversation and lying as I agree that "yes, I'm fine thanks...you?"
Perhaps tonight will bring the welcome darkness of sleep....perhaps I'll find it after draining a few mouthfuls of Baileys over a couple ice-cubes.....